Collected Essays of Valerie Lynn Stephens (Part 6)

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ISBN: 978-1-365-35197-6

©2021 Valerie Lynn Stephens

GNOSIS, AN EMERGENCE

It is oftentimes easier to believe in the devil than it is to believe in God. For such a thing is so easy to fall prey to when the sentient organs of mortal human experience, by Truth's indiscriminate hand, are dealt the first blows of the profane.

Yet without first, recognition of Tragedy, even Comedy turns tragic and then there would be no evident or immediate cause for redeeming ourselves. But perhaps Tragedy is overrated and we do not need it as much as we think that we do. Perhaps the true Tragedy is in how we continually seem to compulsively create something out of what is essentially, nothing of true substance or importance.

But now, once the acknowledgment has been made, how exactly do we let go of it all in order to better our species? For as anyone beyond a certain age of cognizance is all too sentiently made aware, nothing can truly be held onto or even let go of for long in this life of transience.

And the very act of surrender requires an inscience of self-sense which we do not even naturally possess and that probably would not be in our best interests to coddle anyway.

In continuum, perhaps however it is within human nature to still wonder if it is necessary for life to be so consumed and potentially jeopardized by this existential juggling act which we must perform with such exactitude every day. Yet this is where the Metaphysical comes into play: the matter behind Mind vs. Matter, Good vs. Evil, the Material vs. the Intangible, the Logical vs. the Intuitive, and, last but certainly no least, the Self vs. Others.

Although many believe these struggles to be the very meaning of this human life journey itself. And this philosophy indeed does not betray legitimacy, as more than half of a human life is expended upon the pursuit of some higher knowledge as to how this life can best be lived. And indeed, perhaps it would not be hyperbole to state that every moment of human consciousness is wrought with the weight of choice. For no matter how seemingly large or small, the energy expended for the seeming mundane minutiae of this life seems to interfere with the fullest actualization of our higher selves and faculties.

In finale, I suppose the philosophical theme of Survival vs. Thrivance will always play itself out no matter how we may attempt to ignore it. Yet it cannot be wholly denied, that no matter how much we attempt to attribute a factor of nihility to each our own existences or fates, we all nevertheless feel a pull towards something far from arbitrary, nor worthy of our feigned Apathy or Indifference. For every organism throughout Nature possesses an undying instinctual drive towards the pursuit of Life over Death, or Production over Destruction.

And no matter how melancholic or even ambivalent we may feel, there is always a faint murmur of Exultation and Life-Force felt within us, striving to potentiate itself. And even in those moments of human extreme, such as with suicidal ideation or inclination, there is never a true desire for Death, but rather, a fear of facing Life and what this might further exact from us beyond what we, in these moments, already feel we have had stolen from us or has been ravaged within us.

And indeed, whatever we choose to call this invisible yet dynamic force guiding us all towards our transcendence or our demise, we all feel and sense it. We all sense that there must be a greater purpose to our existence, and not merely because it is comforting to think so. As a matter of discourse, I personally find it much more trying to believe in a God or a Higher Power behind all things. Life is in truth, not so much easier to adopt an atheistic attitude towards, all things as many deistic skeptics may believe. Life is actually not only more challenging to believe in things like a God whom I must honour and revere in word, action and even intent, but it is also much more complicated as such.

Nevertheless, I have always believed such concepts to be inherent within humankind anyway. To clarify, even the self-professed atheist cannot truly and fully disbelief in higher spiritual realities because I believe these things are a part of our design. I suppose this is in tandem with St. Augustine's ontological argument for the existence of a higher spiritual being. But in closing, is not humankind's ability to imagine and to conceptualize the very foundation upon which all of our greatest achievements are solidly built? And if we could continue working to synthesize the Metaphysical with the so-called Practical, or rather, the Platonian weltanschauung with the Aristotelian one, there is no telling what we might achieve.

EX TENEBRIS, LUX

Sometimes the Darkness is there to lead us to the Light.

I have come to believe in Good, because of the intractable presence of Evil.

I have arrived upon a faith in a higher power, because of those principalities which reside below.

I have managed to cultivate Virtue, only through the refiningly dark graces of Turpitude.

I have gained priceless Wisdom in the face of abject Inscience.

I have come to know of the infinitude & omnipotence of Love only while seized by the terminable torpidity & inconsolable despair & anguish, of Hate.

I have only truly glimpsed of Heaven only after a descent into Madness & Hell.

I have found Salvation only on my way towards Damnation.

I have learned of Surrender & Serenity only in the face of futile Resistance & Dissonance.

I have found common ground with Communal Solidarity only while walking alone the full distance, in Stoic Solitude.

I most gaily danced with Destiny whilst languishing within an unshakeable sense of Meaninglessness.

I courted Canonical Consummation & Existential Bliss while being savagely spurned by Godlessness & Nihility.

Within the rapacious arms of Terror, I found myself indescribably comforted & delivered by the indomitable presence & sovereign power of Grace.

In my perpetual Affliction & Exile, do I continue to find Healing & Hearth.

Through the blindingly harsh glare of lights which seek to brand upon me, an imago false & unjust, have I always found my Truest Self & Actualization.

Through the simplest of Life's Joys, have I also always briefly touched upon the least mundane revelations & Inward Transformations.

Whilst enthralled by the illusions of the Flesh, have I learned of that true Freedom found only, in Bondage to the Spirit.

THE SPEAR & THE WARHEAD

With Primal Intuition we should declare ourselves definitively sane in the face of all of the vagaries & licentious delirium which this mortal human flesh may visit upon us. May we hereby discharge our wanton shadow from the ghost asylum of reticence and self-loathing which puritanical tyranny and the pretenses & posturings of austere nobility so unnaturally cultivate. For we are all achingly aware of the true apostasy we must commit daily before the ecumenical altars of so-called Social Order & Industry.

Yet, not unlike the true nature we must often shun, nothing is ever just either-or, but is always all-of-the-above and at-the-same-time. It is the infinite Quantum Void, ever teeming with mere probability or possibility until we choose and thereby externalize the internal, all remaining in mere ontological suspension until then. Furthermore, one individual's Civility & Order is another's utter Savagery & Chaos. Moreover, the "depraved anarchy" and portentous "damnation" often so smugly & sententiously predicted by those of the former kind, is in actuality usually experienced by the latter kind as their only Reason & Redemption.

It is often touted that resistance to that which is most natural is rewarding in it preventive or safeguarding effects, but, we must examine, preventive of what, exactly? My thoughts on that have always been that all was created to possess a particular intrinsic perfection of design & nature. And perhaps Essence should always be honored as preceding Existence, even, & perhaps especially in the face of those dictates of revision so militantly urged & enforced by the Political Architects & Social Engineers of any given milieu.

Yet I suppose, many will continue to pay heed only to the stifling dogmas of Doctrine & Denomination. Yet what they fail to realize is how this blind adherence merely seeks to exact from Humanity, a diffusion of Ipseity, and therefore, any ultimate ethical or moral soundness or efficacy amongst society. For this furthermore merely reduces the human essence to a kind of gross & unorthodox uniformity, as, to become "One" in a grander sense of communal altruism, each and every individual must cultivate a sense of such wholeness from within themselves. We are only as "divinely human" or "evolved" as we have earned this distinction of character. And indeed, cogito ergo sum asserts its dominion once again, for we are also only that which we believe that we are, and the same applies to how we interact with the so-called external world.

In continuum, percipience and the monitoring thereof is the most powerful & adept tool which we, the human species, have always had at our employment. And how we think, is indeed a life force in and of itself, as it determines so much. Hence, perhaps the most important question for each individual to ask themselves is not: How should I live? but How should I think?

The verdict is in. What we think & believe is all that there is. Mind is what matters, and perhaps as theorized by quantum physicists, is what all matter is composed of itself. Thus perhaps we should seek a cultivation of our minds before we will ever be able to truly cultivate the fruits of the Spirit-a religio mentis, if you will, as in the longstanding Judaist tradition. The current Western Cartesian-based paradigm often dictates a kind of matter over mind, at the costly expense of that which ultimately and truly matters.

Moreover, I have always held in high regard, the Judaist tradition of intellectuality and the refinement thereof as a means towards achieving spiritual enlightenment. To clarify, I would like to use a personally preferred term “amor intellectualis Dei”, which translates roughly as "a love for the mind of God". This means that to truly love God means seeking to cultivate as much of this same mind within oneself. And indeed, perhaps if we each, as the individual human entities that we are, continue to mold and shape our inward beings into that which we envisage the so-called outer world to become, then some fine day we may have reached full fruition despite all human err risked to get there. For if indeed the numinous substance of Ideation is the eventual stuff of Actuality, then we all must take diligent heed of which mindfruits we each seek to cultivate, for not all kinds of fruit both sustain and nourish.

ATHEISM VS. THEISM

Without further ado, (and it is much ado indeed about quite something), it is my own conclusion after many years of grappling with the same issues of theological and philosophical contention myself, that atheism is a term (& credo) of both fallacy & redundancy. I often think when people profess their Atheism: “Yes, but deep down, do you really believe that?” To clarify, it is self-evident that we “mere mortals” possess at least a working knowledge of things deific, otherwise how could I be writing this essay? “God” or “a god” or “gods” would nary be on my mind at all, let alone in dispute. My contention is that, therefore, such an entity (deific) must have endowed homo sapiens with the ability to discern him, her, or it. Higher wisdom (notitia intuitiva) & knowledge of morality, virtues, salvation, damnation, etc. are self-evidently innate in humankind. Therefore, I do not even believe that there can exist such a creature as “an Atheist”, from a strictly logistical standpoint, that is.

I also finally had to come to terms with this truth, as we all will at some point, that one cannot, indeed serve two masters, namely as we are speaking of here, the master of Apostasy & the Master of Belief (or Faith). Now, to be sure, we will continue to wrestle with some doubt about ourselves, & about other prescient matters, but thank God Almighty I have doubt about myself alone being up to the Sisyphean tasks of this life. Quite frankly, because I, myself, alone would and have already, merely floundered in such staunch self-sufficiency (or, self-insufficiency is more like it)! As Chesterton once noted of that most ignoble doctrine of self-reliance: “Shall I tell where the men are who believe most in themselves? ...They are all in lunatic asylums!” Of course, we might enjoy brandishing the verbal swordplay of our forthwith idioms of discourse, nevertheless, philosophical & theological truths always transcend politics or as the Ancient Greek philosopher Parmenides addressed in his didactic poem “Doxai”, “the opinions of mere mortals”. Or even better, as G.K. Chesterton keenly & in his delightfully playful style once observed: “It would be much truer to say that a man will certainly fail, because he believes in himself.”

Yet all in all, there is a major distinction between “doubt” and outright apostasy. In fact, “believers” are often plagued with more doubt than self-proclaimed “non-believers”, mainly due to the fact that we remain open, at least to the possibility that we may be in err, & atheists, for the most part, remain quite closed off to self-examination (which is perhaps in some cases a salient purpose which their “atheism” serves). Yet, should one cloister oneself away from the world completely in order to avoid that of one's own nefarious actualization? Or is this merely, the null exchange of one sin for another ( as in the case of “evil” triumphing through atheistic passivity & apathy)? And if this is so, which is a worser sin: To embrace “atheism” & perhaps find salvation (at least in a strictly “materialistic” sense) through nihilism, or to embrace “faith” & risk doing more harm than good by being actively engaged with the outer world, whilst battling the forces of evil which seem to push more strongly against “believers” than “non-believers”? For after all, virtues, when overextended, can also be transmogrified into sins, although all sins will always remain, sins. Good can be transformed into evil, but evil, never into good-at least not by the will of man alone.

But perhaps this is yet another paralytic agent thus identified, concocted specially for the human soul, as its makes its perilous way towards its fullest potentialization. Perhaps the human soul is crippled by its very own discernment of the mercurial, & tumultuous nature of evil, hence, the Edenic scene. It knows all-too-well that evil, or those “dark principalities unseen”, once fully embraced, are that much more harrowing to be released from. Thus we fear our own actualization towards the light & towards good, for we know how impotent we often are in the face of our own temptations towards evil & the extraction therefore, from its Herculean grasp. However, we are not, completely helpless. After all, the very fact that we exist to be gripped & plagued by such anxieties must mean that there is a sovereign & benevolent Deity there to sustain & guide us, for we certainly have not thus far managed of our own accord. The old argument from ontology might be perceived as some, as a weaker argument, nevertheless I would then concede the doubt & even hostile refutation of this to be bound by the same phenomena of consciousness. Meaning, that an Atheistic stance often springs directly from a limited human mind reacting in absolutist refutation to matters that it feels overwhelmed by & cannot fully comprehend.

And, paradoxically & amusingly enough, it often seems to some believers that atheists and even some agnostics seem even more dogmatic in their convictions than the average self-professed Christian. As a matter of truth, most believers & practitioners of Judeo-Christianity are rather even-tempered & level-headed. The very submission to both Old & New Testament principles in fact, provides the perfect synthesis & balance for the human soul. Speaking colloquially, Judaism is a perfectly edifying tool for the Intellect, & Christianity, for the Spirit. Furthermore, Judaism has always planted its roots in a strong intellectual foundation, along with a moralistic one. And to that I say: Let's put the Judeo back in Christianity! After all, I take it on faith that our Lord & Saviour intended it no other way. As a Rabbi once noted, “An ignorant man cannot truly be devout.” The more one comes to know, in fact, the more one comes to a solid synthesis of truth & understanding, especially as it applies to the realms of Esoterica & the like. Intelligence, contrary to the “Atheistic” viewpoint, is not always in inverse proportion to a belief in God or a sovereign & supernal force which created, sustains & guides all to its eternal resting (or toiling) place. Which is why any “religion” or “philosophy” worth its salt-of-the-earth, so to speak, will encourage its disciples to actively seek out the methods of not just that of its own spiritual edification & submission, but that of its own intellectual fruition.

To be sure, not everyone is a born intellectual, & that is perfectly okay. Yet we are all endowed by our Creator with enough cognitive capacity to at least be earnest in our search for how to submit our lives, skills, talents, etc. to His bidding while we are granted life upon this earth. God measures what spirit we live in, not how “clever” we are (or are not). In finale, as with all things, balance. No more of this: Head over Heart! No! No! Heart over Head! Nonsense. We have both & we should strive to develop both to the best of our intentions & abilities. Of course, each human individual is inherently endowed with an uneven balance of intellect & intuition, on way or the other. But it is important, if even just for our own mental health, (which has a direct influence on all else), that we continue to grow in the most optimal & positive direction. As it has been said: “One cannot serve from an empty vessel.” To that I add, one can serve from an empty vessel, but most likely will not serve the world well & may even commit egregious evils against oneself & others in the process. Personally, for me, it is decidedly more difficult to embrace Faith than Atheism, as it holds me 100% accountable for every waking moment. Yet we should let this serve as refutation of the Atheist's claim that we believe in things such as God & an afterlife in Heaven merely because it is more comforting.

In its own way, this can also serve as proof to some extent that there is a benevolent & sovereign Deity who created me, sustains me & wishes to guide me to my optimum actualization, & who knows, in His infinite wisdom, that an “easy”, life would ultimately do me more harm than good. After all, remember the teacher in school who actually helped you to learn & challenged you above & beyond what you thought yourself capable or who helped you to unearth some latent talent or ability? These teachers are often the least liked & popular, but the most efficacious in the end. Hmmnnn... I think there just may be something to that.

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