Sophia's Box: Trinkets of Wisdom

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©2023 Valerie Lynn Stephens

ISBN#: 978-1-312-43404-2

The pathologically conformant will always expect you to conform to their world in order to gain inclusion. Don't fall for it. They are usually the least developed, authentic or interesting individuals. And they are utterly terrified that you will catch on to this. Remember: You hold the power, always.

I find it quite comforting and encouraging that we are recognizing by God as being imperfect works-in-progress. In other words, He knows that moral perfection is impossible, but that as long as we do not let sin 'reign in our mortal body' (Romans 6:12), we are sincerely engaging our end of the sanctification process.

Sometimes we must tap into our own loneliness before we can find completion in Christ alone. It is often when we feel the least truly seen by others that we come to a higher and much deeper understanding of ourselves. Our view sharpens most in clarity when we feel mired within the murky uncertainty of our existence. Tethering our intentions and channeling our energies becomes both much harder and much easier in the face of life's vagaries, the indifference and often cruelty of others and in the face of our own overwhelming ennui. But thankfully, our Heavenly Father always provides for us, something to renew our spirits so that we can continue on in the uniquely calibrated and fated purpose for our lives. We may never be able to predict with specificity what form that empowerment and encouragement may come in. But we can rest in the knowledge and in the hope that if we persevere, it will come. Resilience in the face of opposition is more a matter of determination and self-respect, both of which have been finely cultivated through all of our trials and travails. He indeed shall perfect His works both without and from within each of our individual souls and bring it all to completion some fine day. And then, we will know beyond a shadow of a doubt what it has all been for. And not being certain but choosing to trust in an Almighty and Holy God is the root of true faith. And He shall also continue refining that as well. We only must choose each new day to move forward in self-actualization and courage.

We humans need actual and regular physical contact in order to bond with people and to meet our deepest social needs. That explains a lot of the dissatisfaction and psychosocial frustration that we experience in relation to online social media forums. After all, we can't really fault ourselves for not feeling an adequate upsurge in oxytocin and vasopressin when fondling a keyboard and gazing longingly into the dim glow of a computer monitor!

When you choose to live authentically, some will say that you've become a stranger to them. But the truth is, they never really saw you , and they never truly knew you.

Some think there is no Justice in this world, but Good triumphs every second of every day.

In accordance with metaphysical dynamics, the cost of obeying a Holy God exacts nothing of true value or worth, but the cost of obeying the devil, exacts everything that truly means anything.

Often, that which we must due to survive within a rampantly capitalist world, acts in direct opposition to that of our highest & truest self-actualization & thrivance.

Authentic souls will always suffer the harshest existential debasement & anguish. But this is perhaps merely an acknowledgment that we are indeed, doing the work of the Lord. This is our 'sign' that we are on the righteous path of Truth & Justice.

Uprooting is often as necessary as taking root.

Tempus et aestu.

In finale, I think that we are all continually learning that the purpose of the existence & persistence of Paradox & seeming Disunity perceived to be at work throughout the Universe is not necessarily aimed to merely bewilder or to inflict petty torment, but to teach & to hone the Soul towards its fullest possible spiritual evolution & actualization. In other words, strife is best viewed upon as an evolutionary tool of psycho-spiritual means.

And this is perhaps the ultimate act of Love-Creation. The acknowledgment of & regard for "being-ness." The pure desire to be alive & sensing & sharing of one's gifts with our fellow human kindred. The process being, in & of itself, the product. Or rather, I like to think of the valuation of the very act of being & cogitating lying not so much within the "answers" one is seeking, but within the edification process of active inquiry itself. For indeed, being authentically & fully who one is, actively & responsibly engaged within the world itself is, in some sense perhaps the ultimate act of Love, as well as "ordinary heroism."

I've often thought that 'healing' is better off thought of as more of a kind of acceptance & conciliation of & with things as they are, rather than as some state of final rest. We are complex, highly sentient human beings and will continue to suffer the vagaries and trials of our human condition. But without the sufferings, we would not be compelled to grow intellectually, socially, emotionally & spiritually. Embracing keener levels of consciousness is often frightening & painful, but is absolutely essential for our maturation &, paradoxically, for our happiness & fulfillment.

When the battle scars of the human Soul's earthly pilgrimage are felt upon the phantom limbs of memory, clarity can so easily become obfuscated. Sometimes we begin to doubt where we are in our Journey, & if we are on the right path. On darker days like these, we may be tempted to draw that black, velveteen cloak of Apathy, Nihilism & Inertia back up 'round ourselves again, letting it all fall away. And yet, the paradox is, that it is in these very moments of release, that we find inner sanctity, wholeness & balance once again.

In the pursuit of peace, the indispensable role of Justice is all too often neglected and the ideal sought, negated.

Life is a constant scourging. There is no healing, only adaptation, & resignation. And as the constants of human nature remain cruelly fixed, we are left with no option but to surrender to the laws of metaphysical mechanics, adhering us to the semiotics of a blueprint mapped in the only language we have come to understand, but that is nevertheless, so hard to follow. And this perhaps, is our last hope. This is perhaps, the higher art & architecture, of Salvation.

Although this world often rewards sociopathy & mocks & oppresses those who practice Virtue, there will be eventual consequence for all.

Envy is a barbed-wire cage which quarantines the Soul within its ravaging disease, denying the panacea of personal esteem & thrivance.

What we discretely refer to as 'Science' vs. 'Spirituality', or 'Physics' vs. 'Metaphysics' are not mutually exclusive systems. In fact, the very same phenomena observed by physicists & the like, are also referenced in the Judeo-Christian Scriptures in many cases.

Sometimes we have to be re-triggered so that we can examine where our boundaries may have worn thin & are in need of repair. With Complex-PTSD, we can often wonder about the progress that we have made when this happens due to the strength & persistence of our emotional flashbacks. But...If we push through it, we will realize that we have indeed made leaps & bounds in our healing & recovery. The cycles of wounding & self-doubt are actually signs of that progress & validation of our commitment to remain psychologically healthy in the realm of a very silk culture. But mostly, they are signs that we have a human neuro-anatomy that will always require occasional re-wiring & maintenance.

A daily walk with the Lord will transform us from the inside out to desire full submission to His will & plan for our lives. And if we are to remain 'asleep' in Christ in that we may die to the flesh, & experience that spiritual transformation which leads to salvation & eternal heavenly reward, we must continue to submit ourselves each new day to Christ's inner workings within our hearts & minds & our lives.

So, where is all of this leading to-this Life? An answer? No. Because there are just as many more questions as there are answers to complement them. Thus, perhaps the fight has already been won? Must we have it "all figured out" beforehand? We didn't need to be taught to breathe, now, did we? Perhaps every salient aspect of our human physiology & meta-physiology is merely a function of our existential nervous system. Perhaps all this Life & its Guardian Bestower & Sustainer require of us is to trust in the inherent perfection of His design & plan, which awaits our gradual but methodical actualization of it.

Being that organized church culture has become increasingly (and intractably) mired in narcissistic dysfunction and Pharisaism, if one cannot find a healthier church to attend and participate in, there are many other methods of ministry for the individual disciple seeking immersement within the Body of Christ. Freelance writing and other avenues of online teaching are but a few of many alternatives. Furthermore, modern day church culture is also modeled after many other 'secular' institutional socio-political 'blueprints.' Most churches support and enforce a rigorously 'extroverted' social environment at the unfortunate exclusion of diversification. And in the end, this type of culture does more harm than good in the end, as the Body of Christ ultimately suffers atrophy, disease and degeneration.

The truly successful people are not whose who go on to soar to the greatest heights in the world, but those who dwell most fully in the here & now, just as they & just as it is.

The truly strong & courageous souls are not those who can harden their hearts & shut off to their own & others' humanity, but those who can remain psycho-spiritually pliant in a cruel world.

The ones with true grit are not those who so blindly & easily conform to the pattern of this world, but who strive ever onward towards self-actualization & individuation no matter the cost to their social & material standing.

The most charitable are not always those ones who contribute the most to the aid of others, but those who do so in a genuinely non-begrudging spirit of compassion & respect.

Those who contribute true & lasting value to society are not always those who receive the most accolades & fame, but are quite often, those working quietly & diligently 'behind-the-scenes' to make the world a more beautiful, truthful, bearable & fruitful place for all to live & work in.

Let the Hell you've been through keep you close to the things of Heaven.

We cannot escape from the world; we must escape into it.

And this is perhaps the most important boundary that we must commit to erecting & maintaining: The boundary of Self-Awareness & Self-Governance. If we never work out who we are & what we will & will not stand for, as the adage goes, we will fall for anything. As within, so without. As I work on developing myself & on edifying myself & on healing myself, this is an act of ultimate moral refinement & true heroism being undertaken. As within, so without. As I learn how to love myself, & how to honour my own sense of right & wrong, I also empower myself to be able to love & ultimately, defend others.

As moralistic beings & designated overlords of this earth & world, we must maintain a system of checks & balances. Scripture reminds us that "God will not be mocked" & that we "reap what we sow." Therefore it follows that each individual must also be held accountable for their sins, especially in cases where major infractions have occurred. Thus, when certain narcissistically-inclined individuals claim impunity in such matter, while claiming to be Christians, quite frankly, they are wrong & in danger of God's wrath. And this should compel us to confront evil. This actually all part of the "love thy neighbour" equation, much like God discipline & chastens those He loves.

Perhaps Divine Providence is the anomaly, and Disgrace & Despair are what we must place our Faith in. Indeed the constancy of these, are King. But the human experience of the Seraphic is ontologically dependent upon the afflictions & vagaries of the Demonic. In essence, nihility in itself illumines upon meaning, by contrast. And so there is...the Void of a Void-a zero point energy of existentialist proportions, ever teeming with intelligence & demiurgic infinitude & eternality.

I am the wild animal that never bites-even when cornered. Tamed by the fear of my own destructive potential, I remain, held captive by Freedom, in a world-jungle where Self-Preservation always trumps Thrivance. Thus, is my deemed "civility" my gravest weakness, and I remain ever endangered, but never extinct.

How much longer will we escape the direst consequences of our sins? We must let the ailing present pass, if we are to ever become ready to be born again to renewed health & vigour. For this mortal incarnation is not a test of the Reasoning Intellect, but a test of the Earthbound Spirit.

When we strive to submit our flesh to the workings of the Holy Spirit, we finally find that Joy & Peace which surpasseth all understanding. Before we know it, we feel our inmost parts being transformed beyond anything we could have ever accomplished through our own efforts. And much a starving body craves foodstuffs which once turned it sour, our souls alas fins true sustenance & nourishment. Indeed, as St. Augustine once contemplated: "For Thou hast made us for Thyself, & our hearts are restless 'til they find their rest in Thee."

Depression & agoraphobia are actually instinctual self-preservation mechanisms in a world which we know will merely exploit our states of vulnerability & hinder our growth & healing. It is, in essence a more profound variation of 'protecting our energy'. Thus, it is so much more than a mere 'maladaptive' mechanism that we should reject & suppress. In truth, our embrace of & acquiescence to these states of being during our trauma-recovery processing are precisely what protects & preserves the most sacred aspects of our personhood & potential.

It seems, at least upon the macroscopic surface, that the nature of the natural world is random, chaotic & even cruel. Yet many physicists use the term "unitary transformations" to denote the inherent & underlying order & consummate logic to the universe. Thus, there is order, but order of an infinite complexity, which our naked eye & intellects of infinitude & myopia merely cannot fully perceive & comprehend.

A justification in faith in God is ultimately just as elusive as being able to know the precise hour of our death hereupon this earth. It can find its proof only in the moment of reunification with its Source. Thus must we blindly pursue Truth within this presentmost hour, having faith that one day, we shall be vindicated-having faith that our blindness will guide us only more quickeningly towards that Light & Source Eternally Absolvent.

We don't need more guidance from false sages & social predators. We need to find that which binds us intractably to that of our own authenticity, true value & power. Once we have found that, we are sealed unto the day of our final redemption by the Almighty Hand of God. Why do you think this evil world targets integrity & authentic, rigorous self-actualization in the systematic & cruel way that it does? Because that is where the Holy Spirit quickens-in Truth & in total prostration before the shrine of His innermost workings within each individual human Soul. Indeed, 'tho outwardly we are decaying-inwardly, inwardly...we are being transcended. The way out...is always in. The way in, is the way out.

In the end, we all choose our roles. You can either be the blade which Evil sharpens itself against Good, or the blade which Good wields against Evil. Choose wisely. Your Eternal Lot is invested in it.

Goodness & Light are strengthened & ennobled by Evil & Darkness. Something wicked this way will come, but we must love our lives with Faith & moral vigour nevertheless. The ways of the Lord may not be fully seen by or understood by us, yet we can rest assured through prior experience, that His ways are always perfect.

We cannot neglect the development of our intellectual & social & emotional growth at the cost of our spiritual growth. They are interdependent & irreducibly complex.

Trauma changes us-whether we like it or not. Trauma changes us, whether other people understand it or not. But we must refuse to stop treating ourselves with the compassion & regard which we will all-too-often be denied by the social milieu in which we must toil & tarry.

We live in a society that often does not respect & honour those with different social methods & approaches. Many of us merely have a personality that is more circumspect & reserved. Many of us have a character which values deeper, more meaningful interactions with our fellow humans, who employ the wisdom of getting to know people over a more naturalistic period of time. And too many people have been shunned & shamed into a rejection of their truest selves due to the exaltation over extroverted, sensing types within our society & culture.

Remaining true to oneself & continuing to grow & learn as a human being are sound life goals for me. I've always understood life's non-linearity & complexity to be non-conformant to society's rather limited understanding of terms like "life goals", "happiness" & "success." Sometimes just staying true to ourselves is a major feat in & of itself in this world. In truth, we're all just 'winging it' & taking it day by day.

Philosophy trains the mind to think clearly;

Theology guides the heart to live dearly.

Understanding others merely requires understanding ourselves.

We are not that fundamentally different.

It is often those whose wings were clipped before given a chance to fly who go on to soar to the greatest heights.

In many cases one still arrives upon a discovery of ultimate truth, which I believe to be found in the Holy Scriptures of Judeo-Christianity, while remaining open to more 'secular' avenues of thought. A well-rounded exposure to other avenues of thought, when undertaken with a sincere intention of arriving upon ultimate truth, can strengthen one's faith & also authenticate it, as it has withstood the test of false doctrines.

Genius is a handicap in a dumbed-down world.

Contrary to popular sentiment, righteous indignation & good boundaries in the face of Evil indicate fierce Love-for ourselves, & for others. If we do not first hold our 'enemies' accountable, we quickly lose our sense of Self, Justice & Morality.

Oftentimes, rebuking others for their sins against us leads to ostracism, retaliation & alienation. But our dignity & self-respect & moral boundaries should never be bartered for the all-too-costly price of inclusion, superficial social approval & security, both social & financial. Heaven knows this world needs more people in it with true discernment, true courage & integrity. As Janis Joplin once said: "Don't compromise yourself-you're all you've got!"

And if we manage this mortal human experiment with sufficient reverence & humility, we just may come to the place where at last there will be no more collapses of any wave functions to tediously measure & anticipate-no more photons & other assorted matter(s) left to flounder in mere propagation of vacuous isolation, no more Schrodinger's cats to care for, no more quantum hypotheses to perplex & dizzy ourselves with. Perhaps someday there will be no more 'constants' to establish that will not allow in a wonderful infinitude of unitary transformations, new worlds to be learned. But in the meantime, may we continue our edification in learning how to live & love within the wondrous world that we have already been gifted with. For indeed, the destination IS the Journey.

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